i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
