I'm drive I can fine osifer
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
