It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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