If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
