I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
