I'm gonna have a badass scar
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
