508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
