nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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