I heard we made out
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
