im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
