Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
jump out the window naked night went bad
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