And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
