I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
