i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
