i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
