It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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