you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
