I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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