i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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