woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
