..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
