she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
