ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
