she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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