If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
