i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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