you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
