She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
