yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
