idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
