She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I can't turn off my feet"
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
