Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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