well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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