Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
