the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
