Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
