I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
