he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
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