a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize