i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
