i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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