Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
