wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
