I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
