He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
