so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
