what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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