Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
should my penis look like a turkey
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
This baby is an asshole
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
