At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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