i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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