My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
